This month, May, marks two years since we have been trying to get pregnant. Two years since we left Hawaii vowing that we were going to get pregnant quick. I can feel both sides so strongly--it feels like we have been on this journey for forever, yet I can't believe it has already been two years. How did that happen? At times I am grateful it has not happened yet because it would have complicated the last year of our lives, and by having more time we are able to get more situated before having kids. Then there are times that I want it so desperately that I can't imagine waiting another month, or even another day. Lately though, I have realized how much better of a place I have been in. I don't get the tears as often as I used to and have come to a point of acceptance. This is my journey to pregnancy and I am fine with that. Do I wish it was easier? Hell yes. Do I wish I could get pregnant without having to think about it much? Yeah, that would be a lot simpler. However, that is not how my journey will happen and I have made peace with that. I will get my happy ending in some form, I just don't know how or when yet. All of this is not to say that I do not have my ups and downs, I just know that I am doing what I can to get a positive ending and I am hoping for the best. I have to put my whole heart into this and believe it will all work out.
As far as fertility stuff goes, I started blogging about my journey and then I completely stopped. Did anyone notice that? I have not shared anything in a while because I am just not ready. This whole journey is just so personal and I have not felt ready to share the raw emotions that I am feeling at the moment. I am sure I will share them eventually, but for now I am keeping my heart guarded and only sharing my journey with a few people. I have been writing as I go so that I do not forget all of the details, but for now they are just for my safe keeping and eyes only.
Now that the heavy stuff is out of the way, we have some good news! This summer is going to be a good one. Richard spoke with his faculty advisor last week about his dissertation. He has had Richard's almost completed proposal draft for a few weeks reading it over. He told Richard that he is almost done reading it and does not have any major edits so they are moving forward with setting a proposal date! We have a date assigned for a proposal and it is so soon! Then Richard is hoping to work his butt off and turn around and defend his dissertation less than two months later. So it is going to be an intense few weeks of him working around the clock, but that means he could potentially be done with his dissertation by the end of summer! EEK! I feel like for the last two years we have had pretty much the same schedule, the same story. First it was comprehensive exams, then it was dissertation. We would spend our days at work and our evenings were set aside to get dissertation (or studying) done. Our weekend could never be too busy because that would mean less time being spent on his dissertation. I have been over it for a year now and Richard recently felt the same desire. We just want to be done. Since the day we got married, one or both of us has been in school. We don't know what life looks like without school. What do people do in the evenings when they are done working and do not have a dissertation to work on? It will be so weird. But we are so so excited.
Also some good news. I have officially ended my chiropractor visits for treatment from our car accident. I have been going twice a week for the last three months and I am glad to be done with it. Having to go to the chiropractor really was not that bad, but it was annoying. Especially when work changed my schedule and then every time I had an appointment, I was 30 minutes late to work. Although, my biggest thing that I hurt from the accident, my shoulder, is still currently hurting which is frustrating. We will have to see how the next few weeks play out.
With our Europe trip almost here, Europe prep has been in full swing. Big trips like this are always overwhelming to prepare for, especially this trip because I have no idea what to expect. And I feel like I need to be prepared in advance because we will not have much internet access. Modern day problems. We are definitely excited, but a little nervous as well. I am sure once I get there I will be fine and have been nervous for nothing. For my one biggest packing issue, I was saved by one of my besties. Here's the story. With all the fertility stuff we have been doing lately, I was feeling a little bloated and have gained a few pounds. Fun Stuff. Then we have the fact that Richard and I have two formal nights on our cruise where we have to wear formal wear, aka evening gowns and suits. So I figured I could try on some of my old bridesmaid dresses and use those since they are pretty formal looking. Well, I tried on a few options that have fit me in the past and none of them fit me well enough that I was comfortable enough to wear one of them for a few hours. Ugh. Panic mode. I only had three days before our trip! So I called up my friend Sammi who I know has a few formal dresses that might fit me. Also, Richard's brother was flying down to us the next day to watch our house and our dog so I figured if she can get the dresses to him then we would be in business. They live a little less than an hour apart so I could try to coordinate something. Sammi then came up with a few options of dresses for me and she conveniently was driving into Wisconsin that day and was going to drive right through the city that Richard's parents live in so she could meet up with them to exchange the dresses. Everything worked out so perfectly! Richard's brother came with the dresses for me to try on less than 24 hours after I had called Sammi to coordinate a plan. And one of her dresses fits me perfectly so I will be able to wear it on the cruise! Whew!
So there you have it! A few things we have been up to lately!