Tomorrow would have been your 50th birthday. I remember having many conversations with you about what you wanted to do. You were so excited that such a big birthday fell on a Saturday and you had big plans. We had talked about you maybe going to Vegas with your friends. But then you had decided to become a ski instructor so you knew you would have to stay in Minnesota. And you were ok with that because you were so excited about becoming a ski instructor that it did not matter.
You always hated how close your birthday was to Christmas. We learned at a very young age that just because you had a December birthday did not mean that we could tie it in with Christmas. Your birthday was supposed to be a special day on its own. If we used Christmas wrapping paper or gave you anything Christmas related it upset you. Which makes complete and total sense. You always made birthdays special for us waking us up by singing happy birthday and making sure that we knew it was our special day. So your day was supposed to be special too.
Each day that goes by makes me realize how much I miss you. It has been five months too long since I have heard your voice or your beautiful laugh. I still find it hard to believe that you are really gone. But I know that you are watching over me and that you are always with me. I know that you are proud of me and the life that we have built. I would give anything just to hold you in my arms one more time and tell you that I love you. But I know that I will see you again. Until then keep watching over me. See you soon.
|The last picture I will ever have with her from the last time I saw her|